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A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, “Can I help you Sir?” “Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr”, the man replies. The cop asks, “Where was your car the last time you saw it?” “It wasss on the end of thisshh key”, the man replies. About that time the cop looks down and sees the man’s wiener hanging out of his fly for all the world to see. He asks the man, “Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?” Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out… “Holy shit! My girlfriend’s gone, too!!
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One day little Johnny heard a noise and peeked into his parents room to check it out. He opened the door to see his mum bent over the dresser and dad going at it behind her. Johnny’s dad saw him and gave him a little wink as Johnny closed the door. After business was finished Dad went to check on little Johnny. He opened his bedroom door to find Grandma bent over the dresser and little Johnny going at it behind her. Dad yelled, “Johnny, what the hell are you doing?!” Little Johnny replied, “It’s not so funny when it’s your mum is it?!”
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A vicar checks-in to a hotel and says to the hotel clerk, “I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled.” She replies, “No… It’s just regular porn you sick bastard!”

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There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He didn’t get a fair trial.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father’s business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

There was also 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment’s notice when there was virtually no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn’t get it.
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do.

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